Having some Fun with the "Artists"
06-04-2004 07:37 PM
Well... I've been hanging out selling my boxes at these
"Art Festivals" for a few years now and have discovered that
most of the folks there are... well... artists.
You know the look... they have silver gelatin multi-plex photos
for sale, or maybe watercolors of nature scenes... artists.
IMHO there are two defining characteristics that seperate the
'artists' from craftsmen like me at these shows... they
all wear the "I'm the Artist" badge around their necks,
and they all have an "About the Artist" sign hanging
up in ther display.
Personally... I throw the badge away and don't bother with the
sign... until now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have some 'tongue in cheek' fun with the
I'm selling my wares this weekend at the annual "Frederick
Festival of the Arts"... and just for fun I'm going to have
this laminated sign hanging up in my booth... just like my
Let me know what you think of my sign.
About the Woodworker
(somewhat tongue in cheek)
"A b o u t t h e
W o o d w o r k e r"
David Charles Knipfer is the world's finest woodworker.
His works are in the permanent collections of the Louvre, Smithsonian
Museum, and the Museum of Modern Art.
He was recognized as "Woodworker of the Century" in 1999, and has been
awarded 16 Presidential Gold Medals for Craft Excellence.
A true Renaissance Man, Knipfer is a completely self-taught
He acquired his tremendous design skills by taking apart natural
objects, hence discovering how they work.
In addition to his woodworking talents, Knipfer is also an
accomplished Classical Guitarist and holds two Engineering Degrees.
At a younger age, Knipfer taught Sam Maloof how to make chairs, and
also instructed James Krenov on the finer points of cabinet design.
He was commissioned to re-model the Taj Mahal, and is currently
on assignment to build a suite of furniture for the Oval Office.
Following his induction into the Major League Baseball Hall-of-Fame,
Knipfer was the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World, but
relinquished this title in order to attend the 2002 Summer Olympic
Games. There he won Gold Medals in both the 100-meter dash
and the 100-meter freestyle swim, giving him dual titles as the
world's fastest human on both land and water. He is now in
training for a solo attempt at the world's 7 highest mountain peaks.
Knipfer works out of his 47,000 square foot shop in Ellicott City,
MD, where he owns every tool ever created and they are always clean,
sharp and in tune. A flock of little elves come out at night
to sand and finish the days work, as well as sweep the floors.
He maintains an inventory of over 1 million board feet of exotic
lumber, every species in the world, from 1/8" thru 4" thick, all kiln
dried and nicely organized. He built for his wife Judy and son
Cody custom Rolls Royce replicas made entirely out of wood, although
Cody still needs a license before he can drive his.
Knipfer sells his elegant wood boxes for about $23,754 each, although
prices are negotiable for bulk purchases. Interested parties
can contact him via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org .